You’re moving about your life and everything looks and feels good, but you have this lingering question of “Is this all there is?”. You may find yourself wondering, if everything is going well, why don’t I feel as good as I think I should? Will I still be here doing the same thing in another 20, 30, or 40 years?
So, how did you end up here. You see, that used to be me. I came to this realization in my early 30s after talking with my mentor. He asked me a very simple yet powerful question, “Why?” Why do you want to have the success that you are seeking? Why do you want to meet that higher income goal?
Like many of us, I thought it’s all about making money and buying all these material things. That’s when we can sit back and say that we’ve “made it”, right? I’m here to tell you that this is far from the truth! That’s just not how it works.
As you get older, you start to realize the material things cannot bring you happiness. Sure, buying a new outfit can be exciting! However, how long does that excitement last before you are searching for something new?
One of the major things that leaves you with this feeling of under fulfillment stems from when you’re not completely invested in what you are doing. If you’re not in complete alignment with what you want to be doing then you will find yourself questioning “Is this all there is?”
It’s Monday morning, do you find yourself jumping out of bed eager to start the work day or dreading it? Do you find yourself asking, “why do I still do this everyday”? This is a really good indicator that there is a lack of alignment present.
You can have a great job, the perfect car, and all the money you want, but still be left wondering “Why is my life not any better than this?”. Many of us are guilty of thinking that if we had this or that then things would be better; however, the reality is that this is an internal issue. It has nothing to do with what is going on externally. Media tells us what’s missing – We need to lose weight, we need to buy this type of makeup, we need to go on vacation here. Media tells us all these things “we need ” like it’s going to solve all of our problems. While this may help with efficiency and higher quality of life, it’s simply not true. You don’t need these things to achieve internal peace. You can have little to nothing and feel more fulfilled than someone who has everything.
Internal issues are related to a lack of being connected with that part of yourself that is the highest, best version of yourself. Good news is we know that person is somewhere inside of us.
Ask yourself this, what makes you feel good on the inside? This is never anything external. This becomes easier as you really get to know yourself more and find out what you are looking for. Knowing yourself and liking what’s there makes you feel good on the inside.
So, I raise the question again. Do you wake up excited to do your work because you know you’re working at your highest potential? Are you connected with your family as in fulfilling relationships? More importantly, are you honest with yourself?
These things come when you know who you are and can stand firm in your values. Even when it’s difficult you are able to speak the truth and set boundaries when needed. You can recognize material things aren’t what makes you happy. Knowing your purpose, knowing your why makes a life worth living. Once you know yourself and no longer feel the need to prove yourself to anyone, then you will be happier.
When you act like you have nothing to lose, you’ll become a lot less attached to anything. You will learn to love yourself. We need to raise children to love themself not hate themself. We need more peace on Earth.
When I was weighing out our options for our children’s education this year, it felt like we didn’t have much of a choice. When we just have one option, we don’t really feel free. It dawned on me, am I really showing my kids that their life is free when this is the only choice we have? When I came to this realization, my why became a lot more personal.
First step is finding that internal “happy place” is to stop having to prove yourself. You’ll stop asking yourself how much longer you have to do this. I’m no longer dreading the future because I know I get to create it instead of living by someone else’s future and that brings me fulfillment!
Money affects many things. It affects your relationship, your day to day choices, your lifestyle, etc. This isn’t new information to us. But, have you ever stopped to wonder how your relationship affects your finances? How your mindset affects your finances? In early September, I kicked off my eight week Money Mindset Reset program. We are 6 weeks in and it is going amazing! I also had a bonus offer included for a 1-1 session with me where I set the intention to find out some of the hurdles you are facing. Some of the things that I thought would be really valuable for us to work through are things like when you feel as if you are often letting yourself down, when you don’t finish what you start, and more.We will uncover what your biggest fears are around money.
One of my participants was having trouble with finishing what she started and as a result she often felt like she was letting herself down. She had been working on this for about two years before our call. We started working through and releasing the stress that she was feeling in relation to this feeling. She was talking about how she tends to sacrifice her needs and not finish what she starts. We uncovered that she had been doing this for her family. We worked through questions like, “What is the story you’re telling yourself on why you can’t finish?”. Her mindset was family comes first. We figured out that more than 50% of the time she would let go of the things she wanted to do because she was making a sacrifice to focus and serve her family.
You may be asking, what is wrong with putting my family first? Great question! While your family is a top priority, so is yourself. You cannot serve your family to the fullest if you are not 100% fulfilled yourself. When you are continuously feeling disappointed in yourself that will reflect in your relationship with your family. This individual was feeling let down because she had not set the boundaries that she intended. She struggled leaving those boundaries in tack. For two years, she has been telling herself that it’s ok for her to consider her needs first, but she hasn’t been enforcing it.
This doesn’t mean that you always need to put yourself in front of everyone else. When a situation arises and you are caught in between doing something for yourself and thinking that you are needed somewhere else, ask yourself this question, “Is it ok to consider my needs right now?”. Now, of course, if your child really needs you then, absolutely, go tend to your child. However, if it’s something they can navigate on their own, then why get involved.
One of my other clients was faced with more of a relationship struggle than an individual one. She is in a relationship with someone who is not able to receive. This could mean not being able to receive affection, attention, connection, gifts, or all of the above. This is a real mindset struggle for some. If you don’t feel worthy of receiving, how can you go out and make yourself valuable to someone? But, can you really put a price on something that is what it’s worth if you’re not worthy of receiving anything?
These are the types of things that we are working through in the Money Mindset Reset program. We are investigating, unpacking, and clearing the limitations behind these mindset blocks. We are getting rid of stressors around money that are holding you back.
When you consider going to a therapist, are you filled with hope or doubt? I would say that many of us associate counseling with hope for a better outcome than where we are now. So, why are you left feeling like counseling isn’t working quite as well as you thought it would?
This is a little bit of a controversial topic. However, I have quite a bit of experience with it and as a result I feel that I can speak of it in a way that makes a lot of sense.
You go to your counselor or therapist and have conversations with them. They help you identify what you’re triggered by or what your limitations are. They may even come up with a plan of action with you or help you figure out what you need to do the next time you’re in a certain situation. While this is all good and things that need to be implemented, this is where things start to fall apart a little bit. This is all conscious conversation – tools on ways to implement, action plans you need to take, etc. You’re not working with the subconscious and certainly not working with the superconscious.
Beginning in the womb, your subconscious starts to form up until age 7. During this time when you have an experience, it generates a positive, negative, or neutral emotion. These emotions turn to thoughts which then over time turn to beliefs. This is all stored in your subconscious. So, the next time you have an experience remotely similar to the first experience, then it will amplify the thoughts which will in turn generate a snowball effect. We are told that once this forms then we cannot change it at the subconscious level. However, I’m here to tell you that is just not true, you can change it!
The way the brain works is that in a sense the longer that you’ve had a belief, the quicker you will react or respond on that matter. Everything that you do in therapy is done at the conscious level. This is not really supporting the subconscious or the change that is needed in the subconscious. You go to a therapist for help. You don’t go because everything is great, right? You go because you need to do something different; you need a different outcome. The challenge is that once you leave therapy and go to implement these things, your body has a reaction to the situation that is unsupported. Your subconscious is going to throw red flags because this is outside of it’s comfort zone. Things stored in your subconscious can be so powerful that it can almost paralyze you with fear. Every time you try to take a different action or to do better this feeling strikes. In order to see a change, you ideally have to get your subconscious onboard and get it neutralized.
Obviously, you can try to power through with the thought process of “what if something happens this time?”. One of the best things you can do is to think “what is it that I can do and what mindset do I need to have going into this situation?” This method gives you the opportunity to thoughtfully respond instead of coming from a place of reaction. This is one of the most powerful methods. Think of this, what would the person that doesn’t have that fear do and try to embody that person.
Another helpful tip is to remember you’re not alone and I mean this from a spiritual space! If you can remember that you’re not alone in achieving your goals, you are actually connected to a higher and better version of yourself. This is your instinct. This is the part of you that only wants the best for you. This is the part of you that wants you to have a glass of water and a salad versus sitting on the couch having a beer and potato chips which is the subconscious sabotaging your conscious. Be connected to this higher and better version of yourself, have a prayer or meditation to connect with yourself. Ask yourself, “what’s the next best step for me right now?” and keep asking that over and over. I will tell you that this is not an easy path. It takes a lot of will-power and effort. It takes a lot of determination and a lot of dedication to your why to hold yourself accountable to do these things.
Here’s where it goes badly, many people get triggered and start looking at the easier, “safe” option from their old habits. This is where my work at There’s A Balance for That comes in. I help you connect with your superconscious in every process that we do to change the subconscious. We go straight to the root issues of what created these triggers in the first place. Once we neutralize these at the subconscious level, then we can give your subconscious what it needs instead. Essentially replacing the easy way out that sabotages you. You will then have the tool to think “I got this!”. As you start to get more connected with this better part of yourself, you will be more inclined to do more things that are supportive of you.
As we work together, we dive deep into root causes and reconnect yourself. Your soul doesn’t want bad things for you. Your soul wants what is best for you. It is what signs you up to learn new things, it is what helps you to navigate difficult conversations, it helps you to reconnect with the person that you have felt disconnected from for years. We are activating this spiritual and subconscious level. This activates your genetics and your DNA in creating what you want.
If you are finding yourself in a difficult situation where you feel that you have done counseling, therapy, yoga, mediation and you are trying to figure out why you are not getting to where you want to go. This is where I tend to spend the most time with my clients. You are tired of the recurring issues. You are tired of the stress. You are tired of the anxiety. Then, There’s A Balance for That is a perfect place for you!
Here’s what you need to know if you’ve been trying to fix things in your life and it’s not working out.
It does not need to be a long slow arduous process or a painful process. These are things that are in the narrative, that we just think that things can’t be transformational if it happens really fast. And so, I’m here to tell you today that is absolutely false information.
If you’re doing a lot of things and not getting the results or are tired of waiting on the results, and if you’re tired of it taking for as long as it does, send me a message. This is exactly the kind of thing that I support my clients with.
This is the story about a woman that I’ve been working with for about five or six weeks. I met with her recently. And in one of our recent sessions it felt like the right time to start working a little bit on her marriage. We were able to support her in getting what she needed around her marriage this morning. At the end of our work together she mentioned that she was really tired. I said, well it’s because we have done months or years worth of work in about 40 minutes.
Here’s the thing about it, it’s not painful, it’s not too stressful right now. She was feeling light, peaceful, bubbly, happy, energized by what we had done. She was really excited to see how what we have done is going to start showing up in her marriage.
What she shared with me, is that we’ve already had times where we worked on that, and then like within a week something that we’ve talked about that she might like to see happen, happens really organically. She said it’s really fun to see that happen. She doesn’t have to manipulate situations to experience new things in her life. They’re just happening as a result of doing this work. It doesn’t have to be long, slow, painful, like the common narrative would have you believe.
If you’re in a situation where you’re doing all the things, you’re not getting the results, you just want to fix the problems and be done with him, this is what I am best at. This is what I help my clients with. Send me a message and I would love to chat with you to see if it makes sense and that’s something I can support you with.
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Hi, I’m Cati
I work with you to identify the beliefs that are creating your current reality, and together we Balance those beliefs so they support you in creating the life you want to be living. I’m glad you’re here!