We all doubt ourselves enough, we don’t need anyone outside of our own mind telling us that it’s not going to work, it’s not realistic, it’s not for us, or it’s not going to work out for the best.
It’s complete bologna that we would have someone in our lives tell you that something’s not for you, and don’t get your hopes up.
Take the movie, The Pursuit of Happyness, for example: Will Smith tells his kid, don’t get your hopes up about being a basketball star. And then he checks himself and he’s like, “ok wait a minute, don’t let anyone tell you you can’t do something you want to do.”
This scene is so true, as a parent we want to protect our children and we don’t want to see them get hurt. We do this as parents, as spouses, as friends because we want to protect our friends. So we might say something to discourage someone from really putting themselves all in and then it perpetuates that cycle of them not going and doing the things they want to do.
This leads to them feeling like something is missing in their life.
They’re trying to stay safe. This has been going on since childhood – if we get out of our comfort zone, bad things happen. It’s too uncomfortable, too painful. We are going to let ourselves down, and we are used to winning and staying comfortable and so we are just going to keep doing the things we have always done. This leads to people not feeling satisfied in life.
Where does this come from?
Programming from our caregivers. From birth to seven years old, the subconsciousness is forming. Core beliefs, things we really really know about ourselves, are being formed. When we keep on being told the same story over and over and over again, it just builds on itself over and over and over again.
We so often see this story of someone being kept small by the people around them because the people around them feel threatened or need to keep them in a certain kind of container because that’s what’s more comfortable for them.
So if you have those people in your life (and we all do) I would highly encourage you to have a conversation with them about what their dreams are, what are their goals, what do they want to create for themselves, why do they think they can’t do it, what would the version of themselves be if it was already done?
Start to open up those conversations and awareness and see how it starts to shift the dynamic and prioritization of going after the things you really want.
If you’d like to explore this more and talk to me about how I can help you, please get in touch.
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