The one thing I spend a lot of time on with clients is the idea of acknowledging how far you have come.
Nobody wants to acknowledge how far they have come and they don’t want to celebrate the smallest of wins because they feel like it’s not perfect yet, they’re not ready yet, and so they’re not allowed to celebrate. They keep beating themselves up because they haven’t gotten as far as they’d like to go. That is exactly the way we as human beings, society, community, stay stuck.
So if you want to stay stuck where you are – keep beating yourself up. That’s exactly what you are going to get.
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The Law of Creation
The idea of this comes back to the law of creation. The law of creation is that what you focus on expands. If you want to focus on things not going well, what you could have done better, how things didn’t work out for you – that’s exactly what you are going to get.
If you want to focus instead on the smallest steps toward progress, you’ll start to amplify that.
If you find yourself in a situation where it’s just impossible for you to give yourself the credit you deserve – please get in touch with me, I would love to support you with that.
This is really what starts to build momentum towards the life you’d like to create for yourself.
Let’s start with something simple like list making.
A client I was speaking with was sharing about how she always seems to get so overwhelmed, “I can’t seem to get anything done, I have this massive list of things to do and I just can’t seem to get anything done. I just feel so scattered I can’t do anything. I know I am supposed to and I just can’t.”
The list is never done. Even when you get everything done on your list, there’s a bucket list – there’s still a closet that could be cleaned out, there’s still a trip to the thrift store, there’s still that patch that needs to be repaired in the paint.
There is always going to be something. When you focus on all the things that still need to be done – not acknowledging the things that you have already completed and crossed off your list – you are going to continue to perpetuate the feelings of not enough, there’s always more to do, there’s always something frantic, there’s always something that’s going to be in the way of having celebrations.
This is the reason why I hate the phrase “just getting started”. When someone tells me they’re just getting started, and they’re saying this is so awesome look how good I am doing and I am just getting started. For me, I’m like, my gosh – I’ve done a shit ton of work and I don’t want someone to tell me I just got started. If I just got started then how much farther away is the stuff I want to create.
When you are in the place where you are recognizing and able to celebrate a small win for yourself you can capitalize on that momentum because you are telling your subconscious that something new has happened here. Something different is here. You can build on this.
When you do that, you get more of what you want to happen. And it’s a really beautiful thing.
Celebrate the Small Wins
So let’s go back to the list making thing again. If you write out a list of everything you want to create for yourself and then every day you just pick three things you need to get done from that list, it doesn’t matter that there’s still a hundred things on the list. The fact is that there’s three less things now, then there were when you got started. And that’s worthy of celebration.
Celebration doesn’t have to be popping champagne and getting a limousine. I have a client who stretches and shines her heart up into the sky into the sun. It feels expansive for her. It literally expands her energy. She loves it, it feels good. If you think about the phrase “somebody lit up the room” that’s how I imagine her every time she does it.
So celebration could be just telling someone you had this successful thing happen. Like telling a friend, “I just completed this project a week early and I really didn’t think that was going to happen,” or “I just signed up for this new program and I really think it’s going to help me.”
Celebrating can be telling somebody that you asked for help. A lot of people don’t want to ask for help because they consider if they need help then it’s actually a failure. What if asking for help is actually a win? Because now you can have somebody help you solve those problems and then those things aren’t going to be problems anymore. And isn’t that worthy of celebration?
So if you want to be stuck, don’t do any of this.
One of the things I think is the biggest cause to human suffering is what we have in our mind and the standards that we give ourselves to live up to.
Often times these are things that are put on us, that are programmed from childhood that this is the way that it has to be and this is how we treat ourselves. And there’s something that’s not okay about telling people about what we’ve done or accomplished because it’s considered to be boastful, or rude, or insensitive to the people who aren’t having those same types of success.
But I am also going to encourage a little bit of a reframe on that:
If we continue keeping ourselves small by minimizing and trivializing those things we’ve accomplished – then how do we really inspire anybody else to do anything more than what they’ve done? How do you really create inspiration if you’re not able to share your successes? How can you help somebody else out of something if you’re not willing to share those wins? And to celebrate those wins?
And I am thinking about some clients who have worked in this area and they’re like, “you know i always thought it was boastful to celebrate those wins but now I’m recognizing that if I keep those things quiet I am staying down in the area and I am not able to help anybody out of the situations that they’re in because I am right there with them energetically.”
What You Focus on Expands
If you want to keep the good stuff squashed down then the good stuff will stay squashed down.
Most of us want something bigger, better, more expansive, more joy, more freedom, more peace. The only thing that’s blocking us from experiencing that is what we have in our mind. So if we can start giving ourselves credit where credit is due, if we can start capitalizing on small wins, even if that means doing a few jumping jax or a little dance in your chair – what it does energetically is it tells your subconscious that something is different. When we recognize the feeling of that something different and if we can do that enough, and do that over and over and over again, more things come to us a lot more easily and we have more of an opportunity to choose our battles.
Life is difficult – wouldn’t you rather choose your battles than have them handed to you?
And so this is the importance of celebration and acknowledging what is possible for you and acknowledging how far you have already come. Rather than putting yourself down for how much farther you have to go. Because to me that even just feels burdensome to write.
It’s so much harder to step into that work if I am coming at it from the perspective of I’ve just gotten started and I don’t even have the energy to keep going. But if I go, “look at that thing I did today! I crossed that off my list, what can I do next?” It’s a lot more expansive, there’s a lot more growth opportunity associated with that.
If you’re stuck on any of this, if you find yourself beating yourself up, you’re not willing to giving yourself the credit you deserve, you don’t understand the point of celebration, know this is one of the MAJOR things I work on with my clients and it’s one of the things that gets them the biggest momentum the fastest.
If that’s something you’re willing to explore and move beyond, I would love to hear from you!