I don’t know about ya’ll but I am tired.
I know it’s a white girl problem but, I’m really tired.
I was interacting in a Facebook group the other day and there was a comment made that if people are going to be promoting their product or services in the current times, then all of the proceeds should be going to bailout finds, advocacy groups, black lives matter, etc.
I understand the sentiment of that.
In regards to the person who was promoting their product. I have never seen them ask for a sale, ever ask for membership, ever ask for money, nothing – ever. And then there was this other person going, “if you’re not doing all of it then you should be doing nothing.”
And I am here to tell you that’s fucking bullshit.
So here’s where I am at. I’m 40, I’ve been working my ass off for my whole entire life because everything always had to be perfect. It always had to live up to some kind of standard, and I am fucking exhausted right now because everything has always been if you know that you can do better, then you do better.
Every day. In every part of my life.
That’s my kids, my husband, sex, money, business, sales calls, exercising, recycling, buying organic, making sure you’re supporting the companies that aren’t racist, etc.
It’s all of this stuff all the time. I actually stopped watching documentaries for this very reason because every single documentary I watched made me feel like any decision I made, it wasn’t going to be right.
I’m tired of that. I’m sure a lot of people are tired of that.
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So I am here to tell you today, any progress that you make going forward – it’s enough. Any contribution that you make going forward – it’s enough. Unless you’re feeling guilty because you know you could do more, then do more if that’s what feels good for you.
But if you’re in the place where you are like, “I should give up every luxury I have to support these other things.”
Is that really what’s right for you?
Because Maybe those things that you are classifying as luxuries, maybe those things are actually needs.
Like for instance, I went and checked out a new gym this morning. I do best when I go to a gym and I am told what to do by a trainer who knows how to work with injured bodies. If that’s not happening, then I don’t go to the gym. I had been thinking to myself – maybe I shouldn’t go. Like, maybe I should take whatever that investment would be and donate it to bailout funds. And maybe I will just try to figure it out on my own. And then I’m like, you know what, thats exactly the thing that got me injured. I have to take care of myself first. I need to do these things so that I can show up more fully towards those things, towards those activities and advocacy groups the way that I want to.
If I’m not exercising, I don’t feel good. And if I don’t feel good, I can’t work more. If I can’t work more, I can’t help more people. If I can’t help more people, I can’t make the money that I need to make so that I can go support the causes and give them the money that I want to give them.
So – back to the woman in the Facebook group. I totally understand where her heart is, and at the same time when we are putting all of this pressure on people to do every single thing that is in your power to do every single day, it leads to burn out.
It leads to a 40 year old white woman going, “I need a fucking break, man.” I don’t like being that, but at the same time I know that it’s what created it. It’s perfectionism, its that no choice that you make is ever good enough when you are a conscious person and you care. It’s like saying, “well if you really cared about that then you would do everything in your power.”
It’s true. But it also leads to burnout. It doesn’t leave any room for flexibility. It doesn’t leave any room for small steps forward. It doesn’t leave any room for rest and recovery. It doesn’t leave any room for sitting back and taking the time to reflect. And just take it easy and find the ease and the flow in those things that feel good. Because everything that we do, should always feel good. It should always come from integrity and allowance and flow. And when we can do that, we can actually do more. If we are being shamed because it’s not enough then we are always going to be in this state of proving ourselves, and proving ourselves is never the right place to create things from because its not in alignment with what our soul wants for ourselves. Our soul, at our heart level, we already know we are good. It’s all of these external things and sources of pressure that are put on us that create a lot of friction.
My work is in dismantling all of that, even when I am going through it myself.
I am tired AND I love my work.
At the same time it just doesn’t feel as important right now because of all of these other things that are going on out there. I’ve been trying to get this right for so long and then this thing that has been there and should have always been on my plate in a more profound way that now is, that is the thing that has pretty much taken all of my energy away because I have been trying to do everything right for so long.
These are things we all have to work on. We all have to work on these things actively.
We do this because the narrative and the dialogue is that if you are going to do something – you go all the way and you do it right, and you don’t give yourself a break and it doesn’t matter because if you know it then that’s what you do from now on. And there is no room for error, and there is no room for mistakes. That’s what puts us in situations where we are failing.
So that’s what I am here to change that narrative. Even as I teach it, I am still learning it myself.
I am here today to say that everything that you are capable of doing for yourself and for others, that is enough. If you’re wanting to do more out of feeling guilty, that is not the right place from which to do it. Do it because it feels good, feels supportive, because it gives you life and energy and it helps you raise up to where you want to be. If you’re doing it from guilt, that’s not the right place. I want to tell you today to take a break. There is a lot of stuff going on, it doesn’t mean stop learning, it doesn’t mean stop participating and having conversations. It doesn’t mean all of that but it does mean to take some time to take care of yourself and do your best not to allow people to put things on you in the name of trying to be a better person.